Sunday, September 29, 2002

i had the most amazing weight lifted off me tonight. God is just so rad. always always always.
Ive just been in this funk lately. This valley, but not a canyon, and it was frustrating. I wasnt feeling complancey. i wasnt feeling like I had been living in sin...i just WAS. And God totally just revealed it to me tonight and just gave me a huge release of freedom which is a tad bit ironic.
I realized that I totally havent been feeling free to do what God's called me to do. Like I dunno it's almost hard to explain without someone actually "feeling" it. but just like, with all the opposition i've faced from my parents i just feel like I've been walking in a pool of bricks ya know. like every step towards sydney, and every step towards the vision God's given me has been laced with burden. and tho it might not always be a cakewalk, like yeah there will be opposition, I shouldnt be feeling this constant burden! I am free! Like I am just walking towards what God has laid out for me, and I am free to pursue that! As harsh as it may sound, I'm not my parents child, I am His child, free to pursue Him and His plans. It's amazing really. You know that feeling, where God just reveals the most simple yet profound thing...and you're like why didnt I think of that. then you realize you arent God. yeah. it's a good feeling. Praise GOd.