Thursday, October 31, 2002

I thought I was going to get out of this without a vent, but it's obviously not going to happen. All this thinking it giving me a headache. Sometimes I wish I could drain my head, like hook a sipher up to my ear and let all the thoughts and worries run out. hm, that's kinda gross.
I just think it's interesting that now I've got these plans to go back to "straya" and study at a BIBLE college instead of some 4 year uni that my family would rather me not study at, that they think we are all tight and close and that I should for some reason listen to their opinion now. I love my family. Don't get me wrong. and considering that my parents, and all my aunts and uncles and grandparents are older than me, and have been 19 before I am listening to them, I'm sure that they have wisdom and stuff. ARG! I just don't get it! But this argument they keep giving me that I shouldn't go do what God's called me to do and stay here so I can be close to them just isn't holding up. I guess if you were to look at the state of families today we are fairly tight, we all get a long - for the most part - on the surface - but we definitely don't share our deepest secrets with eachother and I probably see them only once or twice a month. I dunno, I''m not expressing this well. And that's frustrating me even more.
1) I don't care if they don't agree with what I'm doing, that's fine, but you don't have to rub salt into wounds ok. Do you think I like the fact that I'm going to the otherside of the world with out my families support, emotional or otherwise.
2) When you say, "I don't like the college you've chosen, you should go to this college in Australia that I know nothing about but I heard it's good", and you don't know anything about the FIRST college, that means nothing to me. Not to mention that "good" is a somewhat relative term when it comes to choosing a uni. MIT is a good school, but it would definitely not be good for me.
3) In my early years, I mastered the skill of manipulation. I don't really like that so much today as I've grown in Christ, but the fact still stands that you can not decieve or manipulate a former manipulator. I know the tricks, the phrases, and the looks. So stop. It's annoying. And you're not that good at it.
4) Instead of arguing with me, why don't you pray for me. And don't pray some selfish crap like "God i 'love' my niece, please don't let her go to Australia". Pray that I'll know God's will, and be able to follow Him, and hey maybe through that, you'll see it too!

I'm done. But you know what, I'm getting to that "I can't wait to leave" point. And it's not in the most positive sense. I should change that too. I don't like being a negative person.
sigh...I feel a bit better.
Today is a great day. Good times with Barbara during and after religions. I'll write about that later. I should do some work.
Pray that God will reign tonight. I hate halloween.

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

ok..so...I don't know how long I'm gonna last, cause for some reason I'm hecka tired, but I'm gonna type fast and try to get this all out.
Here is the basic outline for my day: b-day, v-day, and p-day.
The b-day was briefly explained in an earlier update this evening. Yep, krys has crossed that threshold into the awkward age of 19. onya mate.
V-day = VISA DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yep, thats right. My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, my head was pounding as I handed the post man my big fat visa package. Man can you imagine what it's gonna be like when I get that sucker back? ha. yeah and I just have so much peace about it. Like it's totally out of my control and I am not worrying about it at all. I cant. There's nothing I can do! I'm definitely glad to have it done though. Such a pain in the butt. I"m glad to have it done and out of my control. Now starts the waiting....
P-Day = Prayer Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God just totally poured out his love and peace and refreshment on me today. I didn't have to baby sit which was a bummer in that I didn't get paid, but an amazing blessing in that I was able to come home, to an empty house. While I was eatting I watched the 700 club. I've found that (besides their ultra right wing views) they have pretty good international coverage, and definitely things you won't see inthe main stream media. They did this peice on a movement in the UK of modern day monastaries called "Boiling Rooms" I guess there's about 2 or 3 of them so far. But yeah they are honestly like monestaries in the sense that people live there, very young, hip 20 somethings and definitely no brown robes, but they point is to have a place in a city where prayer is being offered 24/7/365. It was very very cool, and yeah I dunno i'm not a huge "prayerer". I know that sounds horrible, but yeah it's just really hard for me to be disciplined in my prayer life, but something aobut this just totally struck a chord with me and i just like ran to my room and started praying, and yeah I dunno how long i was there but it was over an hour or something cause the cd "background noise" i put on finished before I did. And yeah I dunno what it was but man, I just kept going, and God just kept giving me things to pray for, and really detailed things. and I'd ask for specific things to pray for people and He'd just give them to me and I prayed for Sydney and revival, and man I'm telling you that vision will not die. I can't get rid of it. I know people might laugh, and man I laugh sometimes cause it seems impossible, but I just have this vision for a place in the Sydney CBD that is a safe and cool place for youth and moderns to hang out. And it's almost like a chamillion in the sense that I see coffee houses, and concerts, and raves, and church services, and concerts of worship, and soup kitchens, and just a place to hang out, where the people don't just give you your coffee and move on to the next customer, but where the "employees" sit down with you and talk with you. where they care about you and really want to know what's going on in your life. I mean can you imagine that???? Cause I can. I can see it, and hear it and feel it, and smell it, and taste it. It's so real to me, I almost wonder if I've been there already. man. I just get so pumped even talking about it this little bit. I know this is why I'm going back.
Yeah, but man you'd think all that praying would be exhausting, but I just totally felt refreshed and renewed by God. It was cool. I was just like so stoked to go clean up the house so mom wouldn't have to, and excited to fix dinner. Unfortunately, there must be something else that God needs to work out of me, cause as soon as the parents come home I just want to be alone. I close my door and pretend I'm in my own little world, and I think that definitely needs to change in 2 months time. On the other hand, I can't wait to be out of hear and be in a situation where I don't feel guilty for secluding myself. I need my "me" time.
Speaking of which I think it's nearly time for me sleep time.
peace and love

A huge happy birthday to This amazing woman.
I shall write more on this and many other things tomorrow. But I just HAD to get those pictures out there. =)
Love you krys. God bless ya year, and I pray there will be many more full years of loving Him.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

i just told my religions professor that I copied all the answers on our packet we got back today. he said he didn't care if we helped eachother out on the packets. I told him it wasn't exactly help, it was me panicking and not realizing the thing was due that day. He said it was ok, and thanked me for being honest. I really wanted some sort of consequence because I copied off of Barbara. I wanted to be able to tell her sorry for using her like that and that I was getting points knocked off. or had to redo it myself for a lower grade. or something. but now I just have to tell her next week (cause she's gone for a couple days) that I'm sorry for cheating off of her, but "it's ok".
"What I do I don't want to do
And so goes the story....
Through my weakness shine
Show me grace"

Saturday, October 19, 2002

I praise God for...
Saturdays filled with lots of reading, cleaning, homework, catching up with friends, and relaxing.
My health.
Finding a soda at Trader Joe's last night that tastes exactly like Lift. It's from Italy and is aptly named "Limonata Soda". I drank it all today. =)
Providing Medical insurance for our family once again! I'm going to get my eyes checked! YAY! and maybe even new glasses! But definitely new lenses. It's like Christmas!
Allowing pain.
My family that I can laugh with.
Amazing, amazing, amazing heavent sent friendships.
Texas.
Never being hungry.
Living in this amazing house. Where I had some sort of a revelation today, that some where in the world, there is probably a family that is larger than mine living in a "house" the size of my bathroom, and they are probably praising God for THAT. How did I get born in America, man? this is such a hard question.
My church! I love my church! It's gonna be so hard to leave.
Australia. The great south land of the Holy Spirit. I believe it! Amen!
Communication skills.
Sleep. Sleep. Glorious sleep.
The rally monkey. Although it was somewhat ineffective tonight. You shall not prevail Barry Bonds! Do you hear me! The powers of darkness never prevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiil! muuuaaaaaaahahahahahhaa.

Thursday, October 17, 2002

bored bored bored bored. one more hour to go. bored bored bored bored. what can I talk about??? hmmmmmmmmm. ohI know I meant to say last week after the Relient K concert, that matt theissen plays lead, sings lead, and doesn't use a pick. genius I tell ya.

I've been feelings lot's of conviction lately. which is good I guess. it's neccesary anyway. Part of that whole God is the Father and disciplines us stuff. It's just so crazy how you can let sin creep into your life, make the tiniest compromise, then you end up with this like full blown diease. yeah so I"ve stopped listening to secular music again. Long story..but I think it falls into that catagory of "not permissible for ME". Like I have heaps of strong christian friends that listen to "secular" music and it doesn't phase them, and for some reason I thought I was at that point, but yeah like it always just ends up being a foothold for satan to put crap into my head and life. It's hard tho, cause there's alot of good music out there. like i'm still in love with Jack Johnson. So much talent. we'll just have to get him converted! yeah it's also hard cause like the line between "secular" and "sacred" continues to blur with bands like pod, lifehouse, jimmy eat world, and even creed. I mean crikey, even michelle branch has some lyrics that can nearly be worship songs. I guess for me the criteria has become, "was this music created to glorify God"? I'm not trying to say anyone is a bad christian if they dont listen to ALL christian music, I'm just saying for me, that's what I have to and want to do. And you know, maybe it's something you should think about as well. cause as much as our generation has used the "i just like the beat" excuse, music has done us alot of damage. and a lot of good.
another thing I've been really convicted about is all the songs i've been illegally downloading. I know Im probably gonna get alot of crap for mentioning this one. but yeah I mean i'm so good at justifying things. Like so good. I could make a career out of it I bet. (is that what lawyers do?) yeah I mean hello, it IS stealing music. I've just really let my guard down on that one. I mean it's so easy to do when you seriously have NO money and you LOVE music. but yeah I mean what's more important you know, listening to music or fearing God? i guess that's what it's come down to for me. Like I want to follow and obey God and yeah that's not always gong to be fun or easy, but it's ALWAYS going to be to my benefit. I dunno I've just been thnking alot about the fear of the Lord lately. I reckon that was one of the most powerful lecture weeks on DTS for me. Like alot of that stuff still sticks with me and comes back to me in times like this when I'm in a season of just being on my face. Fear of the Lord had always been a really hard concept for me to grasp before that for some reason, but this amazing laday Shirly Brownhill, put it in the most simple,yet profound way. She said fear of the Lord is walking as far away from that "line" rather than seeing how close we can get to it without crossing it. You know that, "how far is too far" line? She said that's totally the wrong question when it comes to fearing and obeying God. We should be running as far away from that as possible, because THEN we are running TOWARDS God.
ha. man that still blows me away. i should read over those notes again. i bet i'd get a whole new revelation. ha. anway...i think i'm done bearing my soul for now. I might go write a few emails. only 40 minutes to go...

...no, Kara you're not a retard. I don't think anyone else knows my guestbook exsits either! *hint hint*
truth be told though, I'd rather have comments than guestbook signatures. BUt any kind of general attention is appreciated. =)

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

thanks to every for helping the sucess of the Vocabulary Revolution. There will be more universal slang to come in the future. I promise. and yeah I meant to, but forgot to, acknowledge the one and only K.Lo (aka krys) for the #1 phrase "Not so much". The inspiration for the Vocabulary Revolution comes from her. Thanks krys, you truely are a revolutionary.
Now on to other news...
I'd like to have a bit of a rant about the worst cd I've ever heard in my life. My opinions are usually strong, and I'm afraid it's no different on this subject. So if you are sensative, or easily offended or really like the group All Together Separate(ATS), you might want to stop reading now. If you're still reading...you have been warned.
So the youth group at my church has this "cd library" thing (that IIIIIIIIIII started *brag brag*). It's heaps cool though cause we have one of those interlink subscriptions and get like I dunno 100 new cds every year, and then we put them in this library for kiddies to check out and listen to cool christian music. So I know I"m not in the youth group any more, but I still check cd's out. I"m sorry, i love new music. So last night the latest ATS cd was there. So I thought what they hey, I'm not a huge fan of their old stuff, but I heard the new cd was really good and different. WRONG! wrong wrong wrong wrong...so very wrong. I must claify though, the actual music part is pretty decent. like they are good musicians. The cd would actually be BETTER with out the lyrics. I havent yet looked to see who the lyricist is..but man they are HORRIBLE. Every song on this cd is filled with shallow, trite, waaaaaaaay over used Christian cliches. It's almost painful to listen to. I can't remember where I heard this cd was good from, but I think I remember reading a decent review about it somewhere..puh-lease. I bet that same critic called "The Way I Am" a "pop" album. Ok, so if you're still reading this and you are starting to get pissed at my strong opinions you are probably thinking, "Well if it's so bad, then let's hear you write something better". Well I'd definitely lose in the musicianship area, cause like I said it'd be a great , funky instrumental cd. And I don't claim to be able to write better lyrics whatsoever. Trust me, I"ve written my fair share of songs filled with shallow, trite, waaaaaaaay over used Christian cliches..the difference is I DONT HAVE A BIG RECORD CONTRACT! and I'm still growing and learning in that area. hello! who's holding christian artists accountable for originality and creativity. I dunno man. Point is, these lyrics never should have made it onto a major christian album today. forgive me for sounding "holier than thou" but a so called "dead" christian could have written these songs, if you know what I mean. Maybe like 20 years ago they woulda been like flippin revolutionary. but yeah. horrible horrilbe stuff.
If you want good funky music and dont give a llama's tounge about lyrics than go ahead and pick up this cd. but if good lyrics AND good music is your thing, I would definitely suggest the new Sara Groves cd. flipping amazing mate. either that or (sorry) the new live Hillsong worship cd. Good lyrics, good music, for a very very Good God.
I'm sure I've stepped on enough toes for one night.
Peace I'm out.

Sunday, October 13, 2002

this my friends is the Vocabulary Revolution. Our aim is to unify slang world wide. We start here and ask that you, the reader, would adopt this slang into your vocabulary and infect your little corner of the world with the Vocabulary Revolution. The first phrase we are implementing across the world can be used in myriad contexts. Are you ready for this? Can you handle this? The unvailing of the first world wide slang phrase? (drum roll please) The Vocabulary Revolution starts with the "not so..." phrases. Below are just a few examples of how this phrase can be used. Please, make this phrase your own. Love it. Use it. But please, don't abuse it.

1. "Not so much" (Do you want to go shopping? "not so much")
2. "Not so fun" (How was the roller coaster? "not so fun")
3. "Not so cool" (Oh my gosh, those last season Tommy jeans are NOT so cool.)
4. "Not so summer". (In arizona it's not quite fall but it's "No so summer")
5. "Not so American" (wow that guy is really hot. Yeah, he's not so american.[this is a good thing])
6. "Not so yay" (dude, I heard you wiped out big time. yeah it was "not so yay".)
7. "Not so stoked" (I have to go get a physical at the doctor's. I'm "not so stoked".)
8. "Not so Australian" (since Australian's are the pinnacle of cool this can kind of be used as "not so cool". but this is way cooler to say than "not so cool". Ex: dude, you still pee your pants? yeah, "not so Australian".)
9. "Not so original" (This works really well in musical circles. dude that is the riff from 'the sweater song'. "not so original".)
10."Not so smooth" (I saw you spill your drink on that chick, ha, "not so smooth".)

My fellow revolutionaries, please lend me your "not so..." phrase ideas. Put them in my comments or guestbook to share with the woooooooooooooooooorld!!!!!!!!! muuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha. Let the Vocabulary Revolution begin!

soooooooooooooooooo guess what???? I got to see krys this weekend! yeah it was really cool. we had a good chat and stuff. I got to meet her friend Avery(office supplies). and I even got to hear her choir sing! lots of girls. ok enough with the deception.
Krys' choir was on the christian station last night cause they sang at the crystal(haha) cathedral last week, and they had that service on tv this week. soooooooo when it first came on and they said her choir would be on I called her up, but she didnt answer. =( but THEN she called me back RIGHT as her choir started singing. It was super cool. They did so many close ups on her too! it was histerical. like one time it was like her whole face taking up the screen, then they like panned out or something. but yeah it was so funny cause I got to talk to her and see her at the same time. krys thought it was funny too cause she was like "yeah so you totally still got to see me this weekend". hm yeha not so much. well I guess in a VERY technical sense. but hey I'm not complaining. it was the most fun I had all weekend. definitely more fun than Mr. Deeds. ha. aight well I'm out to church. just thought you all would like to know that God is good, casue He still worked it out for me to see krys! (too bad she didnt get to see me! ha) oh, and if you too would like to see krys just go here and you'll have to scroll down to underneath the big red button that says "watch" and the fourth option down says "Crystal Cathedral Choir". well that's a lie. so click on that and you should be set. and if your computer is ghetto like this one i'm ususing at the moment it'll be not so much a streaming video but a slide show. ha. the audio is good however. hm, i dont think krys will be mad at me for this. oh well. but yeah she's on the right. my right. her left. I think i'm gonna go wash the floor now...

Saturday, October 12, 2002

good? no. distraction? yes. that movie definitely highlighted the RANDOMNESS of adam sandler. there were definitely funny bits but man am I glad I didn't pay $8 for that movie.

I can't help but think of where I"m "supposed" to be right now. I mean obviously I'm not supposed to be there. I"m supposed to be here. and actually, here with a house to my self isnt so bad, but I'd much rather be there. I'm trying not to think about it but it's kinda hard not to. you can do alot of thinking, both good and bad, in a big quiet house. yeah, well I'm off. hopefully to do some good thinking. play some piano. write some essays. do some reading. and just generally keep myself distracted. I think i'm going to go see Mr. Deeds with Jen today. It's at the dollar theater, which is now actually the $2.50 theater, but it's just easier to call it the dollar theater still. Should be a good distraction. peace out.

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

yeah well this day turned from good to crap in about one minute so I don't really feel like finishing my happy clappy concert story. I think I"m actually feeling bad for being sad, even though I was told not to. I can't really help it right now. Things are just weird. Seriously weird stuff has just been happening in my life lately. I've seemed to also have gained some sort of extra sensory perception. sigh.
have you ever spent 10 minutes in silence on a long distance phone call, but didn't want to hang up cause you were just so glad that that person was on the other side of it. I think it's more common than I think. If any one wants to hang out with me this weekend that would be cool. I could distract myself with all kinds of homework this weekend since my family's gonna be gone, and all my friends are out of town but I really don't have that kind of motivation. oo I know, I can practice the piano lots and lots.
hm, this isn't supposed to be sounding bitter if it is....sounding that way. I've come to realize that once sentance can be interpreted like 10 different ways on the internet. That's probably one of the suckiest things about having deep relationships and convos on here.
God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good, God is good. God is good. GOd is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God is good. God id good. God is good. God is good. God is good.
I don't think I"m gonna go to class on friday, even though I'm gonna be here. I was so excited to not go to that damn class. I"ll just go into work early or something. I really don't like that class at all.
GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS GOOD. GOD IS GOOD. pray for krys.

I'm soooooooooo behind on my blogging. this is either gonna be a monster or a bunch of mini monsters. sorry.
First, man, how faithful is God. I think i say this about once a week. but it just blows my mind. At the relient K concert the other night (which you will hear more about later) they sang a song off their new cd and the chorus said "It's my trademark move/to turn my back on You". That's so true! And yet He's still there. This week has been all about God carrying my burdens. The first step in that was to realize that I was carrying them, and I had to just verbally and physically LAY THEM DOWN! Ok rewind a bit. The way I realized I was carrying all these worries is that the last couple weeks i've been having some pretty unsettlying dreams about australia. And God doesnt normally speak to me through dreams, but these have so obviously been related to spiritual things it was starting to freak me out. So i'd been talking to people and praying, trying to figure out what they were about...why was God trying to say to me!?! The revelation didnt come in the most glamourous of ways, but I was drying my face off after washing it and it seriously just hit me...in all of the dreams there was chaos and stress in situations I couldnt control, and yet, I was freaking out trying to control everything and make everything happen so that I could get to sydney. And instead of stopping and praying and letting God be in control of the situation I was running around like a banchi, but really just running around in circles not doing anything that might actually help the situation. so yeah that resulted in some time with God just literally putting the worries on His back. They aren't mine. He didnt DIE so I could life a life full of stress and worry. man. So yeah that's been really good, and man I can seriously feel the difference in my life. I know it sounds crazy, but I was carrying all this heaviness around and I just feel the difference.

sooooooooooo Monday was the AMAZING Back to the Few Tour. (get back to the future, back to the few tour). I wasn't gonna go cause Matt couldnt go, and he was gonna pay for me, and I really didn't want to spend my money like that, esp. considering I'm going to see krys in 2 daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays!!!!!!! but yeah I still reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally wanted to go, but I'd kinda just given it up. I dont NEED to go to a concert. And yeah I was just kinda looking at it like that....more latah, gotta go hang with Dave.

Friday, October 04, 2002

praise God for the weekend. man I have been waiting for this weekend since LAST weekend! I've got alot of work to do, but at least I get to sleep in! yay! so I'll be at krys' place in a week. that's a major yay. I realized today that I only have 3 months left here. another major yay. I had some stinking really good wine tonight. Nothing beats a good aussie shiraz with philipino chicken. I'm pretty tired, but for some reason I'm feeling really compelled to write a list...so here goes nothing. apologies for any delusional rambling.

1. Favorite tv show episode this week: "THe Amazing Race 3" it was the season premire, and I swear that's the best show on tele.
2. Song I can't get out of my head at the moment: John Mayer "Comfortable"
3. Favorite illegally obtained cd: Hillsong Blessed I finally downloaded all the songs at work. there's got to be some huge lecture in downloading a worship cd. but man, it's awesome.
4. Musical frustration of the moment: I have this really cool progression and melody and stuff, but no words. no words at ALL. soooooo annoying. this never happens tome.
5. Book of the moment: The Sacred Romance I'm reading it again. I wasn't really at a point to receive it when I read it the first time, so I"m going back for more.
6. Anticipation of the week: hanging with krys next weekend. this shouldnt be possible, but it is.
7. cool scripture of the moment: psalm 119:41-48 reeeeeeeeeeally good stuff.
8. Major blessing of the moment; just having some incrediblly rad conversations with people that I love.
9. Hopeless situation of the week: the Dbacks making it out of the first round of the playoffs. If they do, that will definitily prove God's exsistance for anyone doubting. baseball is the sport of the divinity you know.
10. Hopeful situation of the week: the Giants not making it out of the first round of the play offs. THe only way I would root for the Giants is if they were playing the Yankees. oo. gives me shivers. Like the Lion King...mufassa, mufassa, mufassa
11. Weird science rumor: at dinner tonight, Steve said he heard some scientists are trying to genetically engineer boneless chickens. THere was a very long, and humorus disscusion about "Chicken blobs" following.
12. Weirdest thing I did all week: Go to the Church of Scientology. "Yes the freaking wall is still there!"
13. Exciting weather news of the week: It's fallllllllllllllll! praise the Lord, it's under 80!!! and somewhere in the mountains got 4 1/2 inches of snow the other day! inconceivable.

well faithful few, I suddenly just became overwhelmed with sleepiness, so I"m out. if I think of anything else I will add it tomorrow. later.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

k so i didnt take a nap on the way into phoenix, my dad made me drive so he could take a nap. And there werent actually any guilt trips but that's only cause I didnt really talk to anyone except for Eileen. Eileen is a cool lady. It's a weird relationship with have with her. She's my grandparents across the street neighbor, and has been for....um, i actually dont know prolly like 30 years or something. However long ago it was my grandparents moved tot hat house. ANyway, Eileen is like 84. Her and her husband were loaded and never had any kids, so when my grandparents started having grandchildren they kinda adopted us as well. Well Eileen's husband died at some point. I was still real young. Maybe even 4. I only vaguely remember him. He smoked like a chimney, and was really good at that trick where you "take your thumb off'. So yeah, ever since then Eileen is like part of our family and comes to all the big events, as well as the not so big ones, and she's really just an amazing lady. I could listen to her for hours. Well, except that now it is a bit harder cause she forgets alot of stuff. But yeah, the one incredibly HUGE bummer is that Eileen is not a Christian. Which is really amazing since she's lived across the street from my grandparents for so long. I know it makes them sad too, cause I know they have taken her to church many times, and just so many times have been Christ to her, and like when she had breast cancer a few years back, and then last year she broke her neck, I KNOW my grandpa talked to her about salvation and stuff. I dunno what it is, there just must be some massive blinders on. it's so hard for me to get why she won't trust Jesus. She's the nicest most generous lady, and on one hand, she has lived across the street from my grandparents forever! that's charity right there man. ha. meant in the nicest way possible. so um, where the heck was I going with this? Oh, Eileen was at the party last night and I talked to her the whole time. She's excited that I'm going back to australia. She encouraged me to do it now, because she always wanted to go and do stuff when she was young, but never did cause she didnt think she'd have enough money, and now she has money but her body cant go. so yeah I'm going for it baby. Meet me on the streets of sydney. I'm puttin up my box in darling harbour. next to the swirly fountain.
on a heavier note,
i think I"m getting arthritis in my left hand. which sucks cause that's my guitar hand. it's just been really painful lately. Like shooting pain all the way up to my elbow. I thought it might go away, but it's not. And this is where I insert a big fat grrrrrrrrrrr to not having health insurance.
On a much lighter note,
it is so beautiful right now. This is my favorite time of year bar none. Arizonans are so funny. I think it's because 9 months out of the year we are hot and in as little clothing as possible, so as soon as the temperature drops we are soooooooooooooo ready to put clothes on. I saw so many people with hoodies on today. and it was only like 75. I myself went with the good jeans and a black long sleeve shirt, with flip flops of course. But I am now able to wear my favorite pj's of the year. my purple plaid pants with my long sleeve "Ski Blast 2000" shirt. I looooooooooove these pj's. hm ok enough nonsense. I think i'm going to go to bed. what? it's only 8:45. hm. maybe I'll go "read" in my bed.
night

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

i'm so stinking tired. I have been up way past my bed time every night this week, and it's definitely wearing on me. it's been good though. good week. good conversations. good revelations. yeah. I'm going to my cousins first birthday party toniht. I"m sure it will be full of myriad guilt trips. I think i'm gonna write a new list up sometime soon. but i gotta jet for now. i think i'm gonna take a nap on the way into phoenix. everyone pray for the diamondbacks.