Thursday, December 19, 2002

ok I just had to do that to make sure blogger wasn't being a poohead. I have lost 3 long entries in the last week. yes that's right. It's not that I haven't been trying to update, it just hasn't let me. I'd push post and it'd dissapear and all sorts of crazy things. So now it's been so long I dont' really want to talk about everything that has happened in the last 2 weeks.
Encounter happened. It was good. it was different. I think it's one of those things where more is going to happen after the fact than while it was actually happening. Some stuff was frustrating. Some stuff was refreshing. I dunno. As you can tell I dont really want to talk about it. Today was my last final. Major praise to God for that. I had to play my song for my theory class. Actually it was a tape of me playing. They were all really stoked on it. It was kinda weird, but good to get feed back from people that don't "have" to say nice things. The best stuff was from the prof, cause he's young and cool, and stuff, but has his doctorate in music, and his goal in life is to get rich on a one hit wonder kinda song, and he said it could easily be recorded. I was like wow.ok. so yeah that was all very cool.
Last night was the season finale of Amazing Race. Always a sad day. We had an amazing race party at ambers house cause we're all addicted to it. Flo and Zach won. Zach is probably the most amazing guy ever and flo is just a major B**** so we hope zach gets more of the money cause he deserves it for putting up with her for so long.
I think I'm a selfish Christian. Like I'm not really doing anything with my christianity except benefitting myself. Like I'm not feeding the hungry, I'm not clothing the naked, I get scared when I have opportunties to inject Christ into conversations with non-believers. I dunno maybe i'm over analyzing a bit. Maybe I'm one of those who is meant to disciple other christians or something. I dunno. I just feel like I want to do more. Like I need to do more to get the amazing truth of Jesus out there. Like what good is it if I keep it to myself. I guess thinking about it my passion is to really love on non-churched and unloved kids in casual settings and stuff, and I really don't have any outlet to do that right now.
I finished the Sacred Romance finally. I want to start reading it again. ha. There's this one paragraph tho that ive read tons of times. I think I might type it. hang on.
"When the going gets rough, we're going nowhere without desire. And the going will get rough. The world, the minions of darkness, and your own double-mindedness are all set against you. Just try coming alive, try living from your heart for the Sacred Romance and watch how the world responds. They will hate you for it and will do everything intheir power to get you to fall back into the comfort of the way things were. Your passion will disrupt them, because it sides with their own heart which they've tried so hard to put away. If they can't convince you to live from the safer places they have chosen, they will try intimidation. If that fails, they'll try to kill you - if not literally, then at the level of your soul." p.198 The Sacred Romance
that sums up alot of what I'm feeling right now.
Aight I'm out for a some work to do. ha.