Friday, January 24, 2003

whew. What a crazy whirlwind week (and a bit) it's been. I don't even know where to begin. I think most of you know the basics so I won't bother with those. This week has just been an awesome blessing. I feel like I've been on some luxurious vacation. Beautiful beaches, and nature in general, beautiful birds and kangaroos! Not to mention my beautiful girls I've been chilling with. God definitely purposed this time for me for a reason. I can feel that life is about to explode into a frenzy of business. I could be wrong. God could have everything just calmly fall into place, but I'm not sensing that. I definitely have peace. Praise God for his peace that is so beautiful and covers all stress. I'm ok with life being crazy. It keeps things interesting. As long as it is God controlling the craziness and not me. But yeah it just feels like this week has been a great time of rest and fun and enjoying God and friendship before it all starts up.
I love this country so much. The more I learn the more I love it. And the people, I just am so in love with the people here. I don't think it's a real obvious thing like I go crazy over their "accents" but just like I have a passion for them to know God and I just want to talk to them and find out what they think and where they're at and I dunno. It's hard to put these types of things into words. But God has definitely been speaking to me about life here and living here and ministering here and..yeah stuff. I keep having this random thought that I'd really love to raise my kids here. I know! It's so random. Especially knowing how rough it could be growing up here, like spiritually and stuff. Which I reckon the parents have a lot of influence in. Guiding their children..blah tangent. Yeah I dunno, a few times this week though it's popped into my head how much I'd love to build a family here.
Man there is this really annoying fly buzzing around my head.
Yes, so I move into my "dorm" tomorrow. It's not really a dorm cause we have our own rooms but yeah I move in tomorrow. I'm stoked. I'm stoked to get going with college. I just want to start soaking stuff up and discover what it is God is doing with me here. I met a really nice girl at enrollment that's living in the dorms as well (apparently not many people are) and I'd like to get to know her more and the other people and stuff. I'm also looking forward to having my own space again. Like I've loved this week and man, I know I could never repay the K's for their generosity...at least not for a long time, ha, but I'm definitely an introvert and having all this constant social interaction can get a bit draining and annoying quite frankly. ha. But yes, it's been great and I think it's been the perfect ammount of time, cause I"m not frustrated with being here, but I'm ready to go, and excited for what's comming up. blah blah blah.
Yes, um I have a couple prayer requests as well. I know people have been praying. Seriously like there is so much that needs to happen, but I can just rest in God's peace so easily. I'm anxious for it all to work out, but I wouldn't call it worried or stressed. Just....anticipatory. is that a word? anyway..requests.
There's a ton of paper work that needs to get processed before I can get a job. Pray that it will go through smoothly and swiftly so I can start making some money! So I can eat and all that good stuff.
Pray that I will be able to find the "perfect" job that will fit into my school schedule and everything. I have a busy schedule, but lots of free evenings. I know God has something...it's just a matter of finding it. Pray that it won't be too hidden, and that all the right doors will open.
Pray against satan cause I know he's gonna try to take me out soon. I feel like I've been so close to God and been able to stand so firm in faith for so long, it feels like some attack is inevitable.

Love you all, and thanks heaps. Know that I am praying for you. I am. I'm not just saying that. I pray for you every day. Even if it's 5 seconds, it goes to God. Let me know what specifically I can bring before Him.
Hugs and love.

Monday, January 13, 2003

well the suitcase is definitely getting full. Not FILLED, but it's getting there. It's been a good day. Mom and I have been hanging out. We went to a movie and got some lunch. Distractions. THey were much needed. I very much feel like I'm dying tomorrow. Like a doctor has told me "Tomorrow is your last day". It feels horrible. Mom even said, "I'm just ready for you to go cause then I'll be fine." yep. I totally feel that. I can't believe I"m going back. it's so God. For sure. Like I'll just be sitting around, and be like, weird I"m going back. I'm so stoked. If you saw me right now you wouldn't think so, but I am. I'm stoked to be back in that blessed country, to be pursuing God. He keeps whispering, "I'm waiting for you in Sydney." Which is weird cause i know he's with me right now, I KNOW He is, but it just seems like there's gonna be something more. I don't know. Yesterday when I was eatting lunch one of the christian stations was showing the entire DVD of the last Hillsong live recording. It was mad. It got me all pumped. sigh. yeah.
I hate this part of everything. It's like the most horrible mixed bag of emotions. Excitement, anticipation, sadness, nervousness, but I definitely feel the peace. I mean yeah there is a knot in my stomach, but I definitely can sense God's overwhelming peace. I mean just the fact that I've been sleeping these past few nights is amazing. ok so I've been "testing" my sleeping pills, but I"m really good at staying awake in these situations. Drugs have never kept me down. I'm ready to go. Ready to fly. Ready to get off this computer.
Your prayers are coveted. I love you all. I'll try to let you know when I"m "there". =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
wow. yay. sigh. later.

Thursday, January 09, 2003

Man I can not wait for wednesday. can not WAIT. I just want to go. I don't even want to start packing yet cause if I start packing then it's going to make me think I'm leaving soon. I guess I am leaving soon, but it just seems like this is all dragging out a bit. I guess just at home really. My poor mom. =( Pray for her.
Ali's home. yay! We had a nice long chat yesterday. I can not WAIT. God's up to some cool stuff in aus. I feel blessed to be a part of it. whether I'm there or here, I know I'm part of God's work down there.
So hey Tara leaves tomorrow. That's pretty cool. I'm jealous. And she gets to go to Newy before me. She's pretty much gonna go right past the base. That's so weird. I'm stoked to go up there again. It's gonna be so different. I'm stoked to get into my dorm. Man I'm stoked! I love my family and man, I really love my room, and my house, but I have a feeling that's it's not even gonna be "my" house for my longer, but I'm so looking forward to being out of the house again. It's just so different. Cause even though my parents are not strict at all, it's still different. You get to be selfish. ha. In some ways. Not so much in others.
I shipped a nearly 8 pound box of shoes yesterday. Now I only have like 3 pairs of shoes to pack. Two of which are flip flops. Score. On the other hand it's been raining here the past couple days and I sent all my "rain" shoes. SO i've been slopping around in flip flops. I think I'll survive. It was funny filling out the customs form for it. "Shoes and socks" oooooooooook. I'm sure people have shipped weirder things. Like tim tams. =)
Man I think Eddie Izzard is like the funniest guy in the world. He's so smart and just makes jokes out of the most random things. I've been watching some of his videos lately so I've got all his sketches running through my head. He kinda swears alot though, so that's bad.
Oh hey, I think I forgot to write about my car accident experience the other day. I was not personally in a car accident, but I witnessed a pretty vicious one. So this guy in this white working van had been following me for a while and we both turned right on to the same street and then this green car came out of no where seriously driving like a maniac. Swerving in and out of traffic he almost rearended me a couple times cause he would totally speed up and then not get anywhere and slam on his brakes. I'm sure he was inches from me at one point. So about 3 miles later (this was happening the whole 3 miles, and I was totally praying the whole time), the white van guy got into the left hand turn lane to turn into this shopping center,and the green car sped up in the lane next to him, then swerved right in front of him in the left turn lane and slammed on his brakes. he wasn't even TRYING to turn left! He just wanted to make it look like this guy had rear ended him! I was so appaled! My conscience would not let me drive on so I turned around into the shopping center parking lot and the white van was pulling in to call the cops. I waved him down and asked him if he wanted a witness, cause he knew I had been following him during the whole thing. So I stayed around and filled out a witness report. And as i'm standing there I'm thinking, "I hope this doesn't turn really nasty and I get subpoenaed to testify". So yeah I didn't tell the cop I was leaving the country and he didn't ask.
Well i guess I should wrap this up. I'm at working, waiting for Tommie (the lady I'm training) to call, or show up, or something. There's stuff I could do, but I really need to show her how to do it.
Anyway, peace out my hommies.

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

sometimes I forget that I'm leaving next week. I know it sounds crazy.
but tonight I was just chilling having the most relaxing evening I've had in a loooooooooooooooooong time. I read, busted some guitar, watched a litte (very little) tv. And then I'd randomly think, hey this is all changing. It's one of those thigns that you don't realize the magnatude of what you are doing until it's already done. I'm anxious to go. Sad to leave. I'm clinging to God and his turth and promises. I dread the thought of having to find a new job. I don't want to work at cooooooooooles. I quite like my job, thanks.
I'm tired. I haven't been getting lots of sleep lately. And I konw the next few days aren't gonna be great either. Too much excitement. TOo bad I can't forget I'm leaving when Im trying to fall asleep. SO I end up staying up way too late watching tele or reading or playing until I'm like dropping dead. I know this can not be good for my immune system which has been exposed to countless flu viruses this week. blah.
All this to say... I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

Monday, January 06, 2003

This is going to be an incredibly long and emotional 9 days.
I came home today and gave my mom a hug and she started crying. And not just little crying, like semi-sobbing. sigh. She did say, however, well I don't know if she said it or kind of slobbered it, but she said "I'm going to miss you so much, but I really want you to go."
Am I supposed to believe that? If it's true then God has really transformed both my parents hearts these months. Which i would love to be the case. sigh. I'm so ready to leave. I'd like to leave today. I'd like for ali to be home already. geez. has it been forever or is it just me?
I think dinner is ready. I'm speaking at youth group tonight. more emotionalness. yay.

Friday, January 03, 2003

Man, I really don't feel like writing a big ol entry, but i have nothing else to do, so let see how this goes.
This has been a week full of God's blessing. I reckon every week is probably full of His blessing, but maybe our eyes aren't open to it. Anyway, God worked in some very obvious and extravagent ways this week. I'm really in love with that word.
Last weekend my family spent the weekend in the snow. It was grand. it was a very chill and relaxed weekend of reading, hiking, eatting, sleeping, playing games with eachother. Very nice. I read another John Eldredge book (the Sacred Romance guy) called Wild at Heart. It's actually a book written for men, but there were so many good insights in there. It left me feeling renewed and refreshed in my heart. Something God has been speaking to me alot about...my heart that is. And continued afirming and confirming the path God is leading me down. I can't wait to be in Sydney! 12 days till I leave. 13 till I'm there. man oh man. So that was the start to my great week. Sunday night I went to the Gathering with liene and guess what the whole focus was on? Renewing and refreshing the desires God has placed in our heart for the new year. Coincidence? I think not. He used alot of material from the Sacred Romance and the Journey of Desire (which I am now working my way through). It was overwhelming. I really can't explain the peace and refreshment I felt in my spirit. I've also been reminded alot recently of the battle around us. We were born into a world at war. Not a war against the flesh. Not a war with kings, rulers, or extremist groups. It's a much more powerful and significant war than that believe it or not. I dunno i've just kinda had a revelation of all this. I know that verse...wherever it is...where paul talks about the war in the spiritual realm, but it just seems like my eyes have been opened to the reality of it. There are casulaties. The are POW camps. We have weapons and protection. And similar to the "War on Terror" our enemy can't easily be seen, tracked, or captured.
wow that's a bit of a tangent...but a good one nonetheless.
So the week of blessing continued on Monday when John informed me that they'd like to give me a "small" going away present as an appreciation thing, to help me on my way. But he said it was eaiser to give me a gift certificate than a check cause they'd have to take taxes out of a check. SO, later that day I recieved a gift certificate for $200 to one of the malls down here. Good at any store in the mall. Can we say GAP? oh yeah baby. But there's another side to this story that makes it even MORE of a God thing. My mom and I talked monday morning and made a date to go shopping at the mall that night. Cause see Hills has got this "smart casual" dress code that I don't (didn't) have a lot of clothes for. Mom said she would help me out "a bit" and I only really had $40 I could afford to spend. So then that day I get the gift cert. from John and let me tell you baby, God provides! We hit mad sales, and clearance, and everything fit! and it was seriously amazing. All up I got about $350 worth of clothes for $200. Amazing! How does God do it?? I don't know, and I don't care, I'm just stinking glad that He's my Dad.
The rest of the week has been a reflection of the same thing. God's been doing great things in my life and in the life of dear friends and I just feel so blessed to be a part of it all right now. This is definitely a mountain top. Funny how those mountain tops come after seemingly sluggish valleys and plateaus.
I had my first two official goodbyes last night. They were fairly easy, which was surprising but good. The lack of emotions were no gague to the importance of the friendships mind you. I just don't physically see these people a whole lot, so it wasn't like "I can't believe I'm never going to see you again." We keep in touch, and that's what's important. I think church and work people...which are church people...are going to be harder good byes, since I basically see them 7 days a week. Ah yes let the fun begin. Good thing I'm gonna be pmsing right around the 15th. There's nothing like emotions blown out of proportion to make you feel like an idiot.
Well I think this is bloody long enough. Good thing I STILL have no work to do.
God be with you all.

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

I have so much to say and no time to say it. God has just provided for me in mad abundance this week. He is such an extravagent God. That's the word that He keeps whispering to me. Extravagent. Good word I reckon. Yeah I really wish I had time to write about it all right now,but I don't ah! I have SOOOOOOOOOO much to do on this short day off.
However there is one thing that must been seen. This is for Ali. But since she's still on shop (pray for her and the team!) you should check it out too. However I'm afraid it won't be as funny until it's explained. I'll do that another time too. Be prepared for a big ol update sometime.
peace out hommies. and Happy New Year.