Monday, January 13, 2003

well the suitcase is definitely getting full. Not FILLED, but it's getting there. It's been a good day. Mom and I have been hanging out. We went to a movie and got some lunch. Distractions. THey were much needed. I very much feel like I'm dying tomorrow. Like a doctor has told me "Tomorrow is your last day". It feels horrible. Mom even said, "I'm just ready for you to go cause then I'll be fine." yep. I totally feel that. I can't believe I"m going back. it's so God. For sure. Like I'll just be sitting around, and be like, weird I"m going back. I'm so stoked. If you saw me right now you wouldn't think so, but I am. I'm stoked to be back in that blessed country, to be pursuing God. He keeps whispering, "I'm waiting for you in Sydney." Which is weird cause i know he's with me right now, I KNOW He is, but it just seems like there's gonna be something more. I don't know. Yesterday when I was eatting lunch one of the christian stations was showing the entire DVD of the last Hillsong live recording. It was mad. It got me all pumped. sigh. yeah.
I hate this part of everything. It's like the most horrible mixed bag of emotions. Excitement, anticipation, sadness, nervousness, but I definitely feel the peace. I mean yeah there is a knot in my stomach, but I definitely can sense God's overwhelming peace. I mean just the fact that I've been sleeping these past few nights is amazing. ok so I've been "testing" my sleeping pills, but I"m really good at staying awake in these situations. Drugs have never kept me down. I'm ready to go. Ready to fly. Ready to get off this computer.
Your prayers are coveted. I love you all. I'll try to let you know when I"m "there". =)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
wow. yay. sigh. later.