Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Another update? So soon? I really need to process. And I have only 45 minutes until my next class and that’s not really enough time to do any profitable work. The printers are broken so I can’t print anyway, I could read, but I really feel like I just need to blaaaaaaaaah. That was me spilling my insides out. You know how like when you really need to get things out like you can’t keep them inside anymore, but you are just too tired to find the words to get every thing out? That’s how I feel. I’ve been doing really good today, but I just crashed and instead of letting my mind think and go nuts and think myself into a crap attitude I’m just gonna update. I’m sorry that my thoughts and sentences are crap, but I never thought journaling needed to be something that was neat and organized.
You know how like there are things in your past that you know are there, but they are issues that you’ve totally received healing and victory in, but once in a while when satan really wants to screw you over he’ll bring them up again and make you wonder what’s wrong with you, or if you’re going back to those old patterns of thinking? Yeah, a couple of those ghosts have popped up this week. Not in huge ways, and thankfully I’m at a place with Jesus that I can recognize them for what they are, LIES, and just rebuke them and take my mind captive. But ARG! So frustrating. Like I really can’t wait to be in heaven, and get rid of my humanness. I’m not gonna say that I hate being human, cause I know we are made in the image of God and we are a beautiful and pleasing creation to Him, BUT being human after the fall sucks.
On the complete OPPOSITE side of the scale, God is SO freaking good. As ali mentioned I have been blessed with TWO jobs, money from my parents, AND a mobile phone!!!! I’ll break it down.
I trialed at the café across the street last Friday and got that. And I’ll be working there again this weekend. Then Friday night I got a call from Boston Market and got hired there and I’ll be starting that in April. My dad called my that same Friday night at like 9:30 which was crazy cause that’s like 3:30am back in AZ but he couldn’t sleep, so he called me cause he knew I’d be up so we had a good chat, then he told me that he put $150 in my bank account! Stoked! I don’t have to be late on my rent. Seriously I’m just like so full of faith, and just so in this place of believing God that I’ve never been in before and (ok this is gonna sound like “duh mel”) God is doing stuff! Like I’ve just really had a revelation of faith, and believing God and I’ve just been believing for all this stuff, and it’s all happening! Thank you Jesus! So yeah then I started believing for a mobile phone so my bosses can actually get a hold of me, and the other day I was talking to my friend Jill and she said she was going out to buy a mobile and I told her I was praying for one, and she said well why don’t we split it! Cause we both have the same two jobs and schedules and stuff like that! So yeah we went out and just got a cheapy phone with like a pre-paid plan and stuff so we found this one that was $98 and we’re like that’s cool $50 per person, then we took it up to the counter and the guy was like, oh actually we just lowered the price to $72! what the heck! Praise God. Seriously. Faith pleases God. Actually you CAN’T please God without faith. It’s impossible to please God if you don’t have faith, if you doubt, whatever…I dunno it spins me out. So yeah, get with God! Get full of faith! Instead of having the “I’ll believe it when I see it” mentality, start believing in faith for God to break through, pray with expectancy, and I promise if your motives are right and your heart is pure you will start seeing God do mad stuff. I’m living it!
Oh yeah, um for those of you who would like the mobile number email me or something and I’ll get it to you. Actually, ha, sad story, this girl was trying to get our phone to work before she read the instructions, so it’s kinda messed up and we’re taking it back tomorrow, but yeah when it starts working I’ll get you the number for sure. And the cool thing about mobiles in oz is that it only costs you when you call people, so people can call me and it doesn’t cost me anything! (hint hint)
Yeah, there is just so much to praise God for hey.
I also want to apologize to those of you who haven’t gotten an email in a while. I’m so sorry. But yeah life is super busy here and I’ll try to email when I can, but yeah it’s a bit easier for me just to throw an update on and have everyone be able to read it. But yeah don’t think that I’ve forgotten about you, cause I haven’t and I’m praying for you all every day. And that’s not a lie. God has really stirred up prayer in me, just a passion to be more committed to praying, cause it’s so powerful hey, and I’m just believing for breakthrough in every one of your lives. So keep me updated, and I’ll try my best to do the same.
What else can I say?
Living arrangements? yeah they are interesting. It’s going ok, but man I’m finding out how anal I am about some stuff. Like people, freaking WASH YOUR DISHES! your mom does NOT live here, I am NOT her, and geez you’re out of the house, grow up and be a responsible adult. ha. that felt good. But really, all the girls are great, we’ve been able to talk out issues and pray together, and we haven’t had any cat fights (yet) but yeah we are all just really wanting to keep a positive spirit and peace in the house, so I think it will be good…IF they do their dishes. =)
Alright I’ve only got a few minutes so I’m gonna post this and head on down, but yeah I love you all, and like I said, I AM praying for you. Please keep me updated for HOW I can pray for you more specifically. I love getting emails even though I’m crap at returning them, and yeah when I get my number I’ll send it to you, just let me know if you want it.
Peace and love and God’s grace to you all. He is THEEEEEE faithful one.

Ahhh! I didn’t even mention the album. shoot. well we are recording the new Hillsong album next weekend, and it’s gonna be off the hook and I’ll have to write about it more later, but if you think about it, pray for it, cause seriously these songs are the best ever, they are going to rock this nation, and the world, and bring millions to their knees before the Savior.
ok byeeeeeeee!

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

So…this is an update. A long long long overdue update. And I must say if it wasn’t for Doreen (did I spell that right???) I probably still wouldn’t be updating. Ha. Actually not true, cause I’ve been thinking about my sisters in Houston, and Shreveport, and Mesa and all you other beautiful girls all around the world and thinking how I pretty much never email and I really need to write at least something so that you know I’m alive! Ok so Doreen is the beautiful girl from Holland that signed my guestbook saying she was coming to hills too. Because everything was so busy towards January and everything back home I’d kinda actually forgotten about it! And she found me the other day in the toilette and said “I’ve been to your website” woah shocker hey! So then my memory was totally jogged, and I was totally spun out that there is someone here that “knows” that side of me. Well at least kinda. Cause you know how it is when you go someplace and you don’t know anyone so like all your relationships you are building are surface and you’re just dying for someone to like cut through all that and at least know a bit about who you are inside! Ha. Yeah, so even though we haven’t really gotten the chance to talk heaps like I even take comfort in the fact that there is someone here who like even has access to my thoughts. A bit. Yeah, this is becoming incredibly abstract and random. It’s been so long since I’ve updated that I’ve forgotten how to! So thanks to Doreen (and God, ha) for finding me and I can’t wait to hang with you a bit more and get to know you and stuff. The eloquence is just killing me right now. I think the fact that I really should be working on assignments and I’m not doesn’t help my thinking either. OK so for all those who are wishing I would shut up and tell you how the Great Southland of the Holy Spirit is I will do so now. It’s GREAT! As if you would expect anything less. I’m home again! Praise the Lord. Like seriously, I’ll just be walking home or to school or something and I’ll “smell” Australia, and just be like, God! I’m here! You brought me here! Again! In this life time! And I’m not leaving. Ha! It’s so good hey. So yeah college is off and running. More like sprinting. Nah, it’s not that bad, but I am loving it for sure. The first couple weeks it was still a bit new and distracting. Like “oh my gosh I’m singing in the worship choir, at hills, and I’m on stage with Darlene.” (yes, I admit it..) But I’ve seriously just been praying so hard that God would take them off that pedestal, that I wouldn’t idolize the “big wigs” like that. And He fully has, hey. The other day I was walking to school and Bobbie Houston picked me up in her black Audi and asked if I was going to college, I was like yeah and jumped in and it was cool hey. But yeah I just love this church, and man I’m telling you God is doing something huge, but there is something else, like revival is gonna burst out of these doors hey. Oh! I can’t wait. It’s gonna be mad. Everyone who’s not in Australia should come cause you aren’t going to want to miss this. Yeah. I’m still praying and looking for a job. I’m supposed to have a trial at this café across the street from my house tonight but I haven’t heard back from the manager yet. Probably cause our phone is either always busy or no one’s home. Pray for a mobile too hey. Cause I guess I don’t really need one, but it would make life so much more easier. Honestly, I’ve got like no money, but the peace of God is just huge and I’ve never felt so full of faith and like I could trust him this much. I guess that’s what happens when you have nothing left hey. But yeah it’s really good, and I’m just fully trusting God that his timing is perfect and that one of the “seeds” I have sown in the shops around will work out and I won’t be behind on my rent in Jesus name! Amen. What else?
I live with 9 other girls, and yeah that’s nice…most of the time. Like at least 70% of the time. Ha. Yeah I won’t go into too much. But honestly I have met a couple of the greatest girls and we’ve already established somewhat of a family and we have been able to lean on eachother and laugh and all sorts of fun stuff. So yeah praise God. Man I should really get to my assignments. But yeah God has just been doing so much. Really like the first two weeks I was here at Hills he was just ripping me up hey, just doing some really painful, but much needed surgery on my spirit and really just challenging me and putting me in my place I guess. And that has just grown into this huge root of faith and hope and trust. I’ve really just been challenged to open my eyes a bit more and really just look out for ways to love people, cause man this church is all about people and all about loving and serving people, and I am SO selfish hey. And I don’t want it to be something that I’m just striving for and agonizing over cause I know that’s not what it’s about at all, but I just want it to be that thing that just flows out of me. That I’m connected with Jesus, and living daily by his Spirit and that the love I receive from him just flows out of me and into the lives of the people around me. So basic I know. But really if my life isn’t centered around loving God and loving people then what’s the point. Ok this is just really funny to me, but I’m writing this update in MS Word, and I just wrote “centered” right and it underlines it like the spelling is wrong! Ha. Guess I’ll have to remember that for my essays and stuff though. Ok I’m gonna peace out cause I’m gonna get ripping on my assignments. But I love you all. You are all beautiful. I miss you all…except those of you that are here of course, and I’m PRAYING for you. PLEASE let me know what I can pray for…specifically if possible.
And thanks again Doreen for kicking my butt and making me update. Ha!
Love, love and HUGS!