Wednesday, March 26, 2003

So I feel like I need a massive vent in here. So much has happened in like 24 hours and though I’m not sleepy tired I’m feeling a bit physically exhausted from it all. And as much as I’d like to email each one of my beautiful faithful readers, the thought of that is just too overwhelming. It’s seriously been like a rollercoaster. And I’m so on the going up bit again. So where to start? Ok, ummmm…Tuesday, yeah, Tuesday was sick. In my OT survey class this lady Rachel gave me an envelope with my name on it and said it wasn’t from her but the person that had given it to her didn’t want me to know it was from them. She handed it to me like right before class was meant to start so I couldn’t really open it then cause I didn’t know what it was, if it was some deep and meaningful prophetic letter or something I didn’t really want to be reading it in class in the midst of 200 people ya know. Right. So at a break I went to the toilet and opened it in the stall, feeling a little ridiculous, but yeah I was floored when I saw what was in it…4 $50 notes. Yeah. Ok, how good is God. Yeah, so good. I was just overwhelmed, cause as ridiculous as it sounds like I’ve sooooo been desiring that kind of provision. Like a miraculous, unmerited privision to give God glory for and just to have a testimony of that in my life. So yeah I was pumped. Bless God. So then later I ran up and checked my email and there was one from my brutha telling me my parents had put some money in my account and my balance was about $300 US. Praise God again! Enough to pay my late rent, my current rent, and at least one more rent payment. ( can I tell you how much I HATE paying rent! If anyone is reading this and trying to decide whether they should move out of their parents’ house…DON’T!) Regardless, I do love paying it and not being in debt and being able to say God has 100% miraculously provided for my needs. It’s sick.
Ok so Tuesday was like the top of the rollercoaster you know.. when everything is just like wheeeeeee. Ok and in hindsight I so should have known that there had to be a valley, that the enemy would not want me in that place for longer than absolutely necessary. Too bad he can’t stop me from praising God no matter what circumstance I’m in. Ok so yeah wednesday was outreach and a few of us went to the mall with the mission of simply talking to people and being a positive influence. God really put it on my heart to bless someone with the provision I had been blessed with so I went to get some money out of the ATM so I would have some and maybe be able to have some coffee with someone. I don’t know..just one of those weird God thoughts. So when I went to get money out of my checking it came up saying insufficient funds. And I was I don’t think so. But then I remembered that sometimes when you deposit money you can’t access it internationally for like a week or I tried to get some out of my savings cause there is some money in there that has been in there for months, but yeah it came up with the same insufficient funds as well. And I’m like right, this is bad. So I try about 5 different ATM’s and they all say the same thing. And just a side note, I have NO cash on me. So I am like I need to talk to my parents I try to go buy a calling card with my bank card and it doesn’t go through! Arg! So I find my friend Heather and I’m like freaking out and so she gives me $20 to buy a card yadda yadda, call my parents and start BAWLING on the pay phone in the mall in Australia, and my mom’s like are you ok? And I’m like *slobber* yessssssssssssssssssssssssss and she was like no you aren’t you’re crying and I’m like *sniff sniff* no I’m noooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. Ok yeah I was. So I explain everything to them, and she says well we actually put the money in your Savings account (ok last time they put it in my I just assumed you know) and that revelation opened up a whole new can of worms cause I realized that the previous day I had payed part of my rent with my card out of my checking account, which I know realize had NO money in it! Which means I didn’t REALLY pay my rent and my bank will probably fine me for overdrawing. (Insert more water works) And it ALSO means that my parents gave me a lot less money than I thought they did..blah blah blah, which doesn’t really matter, it just drastically changed my budget for the next few weeks. God is SO faithful. Ok so then they calm me down and my mom said she would go to the bank and sort it out for me the next day (I love my mom) so right now I probably should be going to see if my account is working yet, but I really needed to vent. Ok so I had like an hour before my next class after we got back from the mall, and I sat down and read Darlene’s Extravagent Worship book which I’ve been working on (ok you SO need to read this book. And I’m sure krys is laughing at that for various reasons, but seriously it’s up there with “unquenchable worshipper” good stuff) And of course I open to the bit where I left off and she’s preaching about David REJOICING and PRAISING in the midst of trial. And how we HAVE to PRAISE and not let ourselves be defeated in our thinking, and remember the promise of victory we have been given and know that our circumstances do not reflect upon the goodness, the greatness, the faithfulness, and the love of God! AMEN! So yeah I was totally like slapped up the head with that, and like ok God I choose to praise you right now.. SO I go to class, which is my best class that I have taught by the amazingly gifted and anointed and freaking intelligent Robert Ferguson (if you can find and of his stuff you should get it too) um and he does this thing before every class where we stand and pray…crazy I know… and he always has a student he gets up the front and is like ok who is full of faith and has expectancy for this class and wants to lead us in prayer and seriously I do not know what happened to me, but my arm shot up! I’m not even joking I think I nearly whacked poor Doreen next to me, and I was thinking what are you doing! Put your hand down and I couldn’t and he looked at me and was like ok come down…I seriously don’t even know what I said what I prayed if I was speaking English or what (ok I know I was speaking English…um yeah I was just about to go somewhere with that but I’m not..ha sorry, not feeling that vulnerable right now) Ok so yeah from that moment like just claiming and choosing to praise God, my day ROCKED. Our class was short which was a bummer and a blessing cause I was tired, so I got to go home early I talked to my beautiful girls in Texas and man got so blessed, I was so convinced I was going to go back to church for worship practice but my friends convinced me to ditch and go to the beach instead… so we headed out to Dee Why not knowing exactly how to get there, and we got to Taco Bell on the way. Ok can I just say that eating that taco was a spiritual experience. Jesus KNEW I needed some Mexican food. SO we were at the beach and it was dark and like 8:00 and we were just standing around watching the moon on the waves, and I’m like you guys we should fully go skinny dipping…and about 10 minuets later after psyching ourselves up we were necked in the water! Yeah it was SOOO much fun. Man it was so nice just to be crazy and spontaneous and praise God and not be all like “woe is me”. Yeah so I think I have talked entirely too much and I want to eat and do some work before class so I’m gonna peace out…but I hope you all are loving God and just desperately reaching out for Him. I hope you are all seeing miracles in your life and the lives around you, cause you SHOULD, cause our God is a miracle working God. I pray that you are blessed even if you are financially broke. Blessing isn’t about money. I pray you are praising God through your trials, and I pray that you are living in obedience to Him. I pray that you are lifting up and interceding for the current world situation and not succumbing to fear but knowing that our God IS the prince of Peace, the King of Kings, and the ultimate ruler of this world which He holds in His hands. I love you all and I hope to see you sooooooooooon. I miss you all so much. Peace out. AHHHHHHHHH ok I just realized that I am so late for class! HA!

Sunday, March 23, 2003

I've got just about 10 minutes left on my 30 minutes of internet so I thought I'd write a quick update.
I can't believe I didn't write about the album in here. Yeah it's been like 2 weeks. Yeah so I sang in the choir for the new Hillsong album and it was sick as. our shirts were really ugly aka "stylish" or "too incredibly trendy that they went out of style 10 minutes after we took them off". yeah, just my opionion. Everyone should start saving for this cd now though, cause honestly the songs are soooooooo good. And I'm singing on it! And you can hear me! =)
So yeah that was all fun and exciting, kind of a dream come true as well.
This past week our classes were cancelled because of the Colour Your World women's conference. I was an usher. Do you know how much it sucks trying to find seats for women? Women HAVE to sit with their friends. Even if they are irresponsible and come late, it is YOUR problem that there aren't 15 seats together in one place. Not to mention 2 seats together. Seriously I've never seen so many women together in one place. THe week was split into 2 conferences and I think there were about 8,000 women between the two. Yeah, can we say crazy hormones. yeah.
Everything else is going good. I've got quite a few assignments due in the next few weeks before the term is done. I should hopefully start working at Boston Market next week. Yeah finances, you can keep praying for those, ha. God is so amazingly faithful though hey. My parents are giving me some more money, which is sick as. THey are pretty sure they are moving to TX. Scarey.
God has been teaching me heaps about generousity. Being a generous person. I never realized how incredibly selfiish I am. In so many areas. I know alot of it is how I have been raised. Man I"m just getting started and I've got to go. This is what I miss about having the internet. Being able to just write and get everything out in here. I'm too lazy to write as much in my paper journal as I can fit in here. The whole writers cramp thing you know. Ok, maybe I'll fiNNish those thoughts another time.
Peace out.

Monday, March 03, 2003

yeah so the other day at hillsongwomen we were encouraged to get alone, with a blank piece of paper and write down the dreams we have for our lives. I loved it. I got so stoked I thought I'd just keep going. Eventually I got to the end. But yeah you should do it hey. No limits, no impossiblities, what do YOU want. Chances are they are some things that God wants as well. So yeah for some reason I felt extremely compelled to put these up here. Don't know why but there you go.
Sorry for the last entry. I heard it was long. =)
peace out...

-I want an awesome, committed marriage - preferably to an Australian. I want us to have similar dreams and vision for Sydney and the world and to have complimentary gifts and capabilities.

-I want to raise awesome God-seeking, life-loving, fun children who grow up knowing the power, love, size, and limitlessness of God.

-I want to start a cafe style ministry in the City that is aimed at reaching high school/university/career aged people with the living and relevant word of God. It will be a place full of love, where God’s kingdom and principles can be observed in action, where healthy relationships can be established and nurtured, where creativity, originality, and uniqueness is always encouraged, where truth is spoken and lifes big questions can be asked and answered. It's main purpose will be for outreach and evangelism - a cool, real, quality, excellent place where people from all faith backgrounds will be attracted to but also where Christians will feel totally comfortable bringing their non-Christian friends. It will be a place that is totally in the world, but not at all of it.

-I want to be totally planted at Hillsong church and be able to have sung in the bv's for church

-I want to be able to write songs for the church that are real and refreshing and come as the fruit of what God is doing in my life.

-I want to be able to get some sort of permanent residency status.

-I want my family to be able to visit me in Sydney.

-I want to travel.

-I want to, at some point, be involved in some sort of ministry with on of my close “soul mate" friends.

-I want revival in Sydney!!

-I want to have the financial resources to be able to give abundantly and generously to the church, to ministries and to friends in ministry and missions.

-I want to own a Maton guitar. =)