Thursday, August 21, 2003

Just a little conversation I had last night with God.

Mel: Jesus I just want to be blameless before you
God: Ok well, then tonight don't take food home from work.
M: (damn)
But we just throw it out and it's free food, and totally helps my grocery bill
G: but I provide for you and not by ways that go against my nature.
M: But the managers let me take food
G: Are the supposed to?
M: Well that's their problem. Why are you doing this to me?
G: Cause you asked me to. mel if you do what's right I will bless you.
M: Well you've said that before this year and now I'm in debt and I want to trust that you are going to bring breakthrough but I'm tired of believing for something that never comes.
G: Mel you are so close and you now it. You have even started to see the first trickly of my outpouring. Don't stop trusting and believing and fighting now.
M: Yeah the windows of heaven are cracked over my life. woo hoo.
And it always comes in the form of like extra shifts or like the house with lower rent. Why can't I get handed a massive check or have money appear in my bank account like other people. I know you could do that.
G: It won't always come like you think. But blessing is blessing and provision is provision
M: I don't really like you right now.
G: That's ok.
I still love you.
There's so much I have in store for you Mel, but it requires all of these characteristics being built into your everyday life. It's ok to arue with me like this. I can handle it. And I can understand your doubts. But you know I don't, I can't lie. You know I provide and you know I bless obedience.
M: But it's so hard.
G: I'll help you. You don't have to do it by yourself.
M: Help me. I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief

Last night I got offered an extra shift and I got my first paycheck after they finally fixed my taxation percentage and I didn't get half of it stolen.