Tuesday, November 11, 2003

5 days. Not that I'm counting. But I am. I'm ready for normalcy, ready for summer, ready to be back at my church. Or maybe I'm just ready to stop dealing with people, or maybe I'm ready to stop dealing with the emotions that accompany visiting people. Forget my dad, I'm going to need heart surgery when this is all over with. Whoever wrote that great 80's ballad "Love Hurts" sure knew what they were talking about. It hurts being so far away from all the people that love you and know you best. It hurts to be away from the place God's called me. It hurts to think that in the span of one year I will have spent less than 3 days with one of my best friends and less than 3 weeks with my family. It hurts that when I get back to Sydney I'll only have 2 weeks before some of the people that I have built amazing relationships with there leave. It hurts to see other people hurting when you leave so you put all the blame on yourself. "If only I could live a normal life. I could give it all up, come back and go to some nearby college. That would fix everything." It hurts that they don't understand you weren't made to be "normal", that life is too short for white picket fences, and eternity is too near to waste time outside of God's will...Love hurts. Life hurts. God never hurts. And the funny thing is that even though I know it's going to hurt I keep allowing it to happen, keep obeying, remain faithful, keep loving, and keep seeing God open the windows of heaven over my life.