Saturday, February 14, 2004

So here's a thought.

Jesus died, so that HE could live with US forever. He loved us that much.

I think I heard it put that way, in those specific words for the first time tonight. I went to a saturday service at a church called Hillcrest...unfortunately no relation to Hillsong...though it was similar in some ways.

But yeah, funny how we always put such an "us" spin on things and think "Jesus died for US. To save US from our sins, so WE could live forever with Him." But if he wouldn't have died, he would have been separated from us because of our sin, so maybe he died because of his amazing love that could stand to live without us.
I don't know man, that just blows my mind.

So you know what else blows my easily I forget. I think I might revert back to Jewish customs and start physically wearing scripture on my so I don't forget.
It's like I came home, and dumped my faith at the door step. I've been relying on MY qualities, MY experiences, MY intellegence to find me a job. I've been relying on MY parents money to feed, house, and clothe me.
The pastor at the church preached out of Joshua tonight. I didn't actually hear a lot of what he said cause I was distracted by the people talking behind me, the people talking in front of me, and his nasaly voice and mild lisp. But one point I did catch was about Israel crossing the Jordan. They were crossing it at a time of the year when it was too late for them to plant crops, it was nearly harvest, so God had to set up a way for them to survive because once they crossed, his manah and supernatural "just enough" provision would disappear. And even though they would be walking into a land of blessing, flowing with milk and honey, they were going to have to work their asses off for it. So what does God do? He gives them the possesions of an enemy. He took the possesions of the wicked and gave them to his people. Their houses were built, their banks were full, their crops were ripe for harvest, and God gave it to his people to give them a jump start in their new home.
I think that is damn cool. And I think I've forgotten, since I haven't had to rely on God for my next meal, that my provision comes from him. I hate how quickly I've forgotten, but I LOVE that I have been reminded, cause things are going to be different from now on. I just needed my perspective changed...I needed to get my eyes off myself.
I also forgot who I am in Christ. I am His creation. He calls me beloved and friend. I've been feeding myself a lot of crap, so here's the deal. I'm going to need serious help with this. I am fasting from commercial tv this week. From sunday to sunday. I'm saying "commercial tv" cause I still want to watch hillsong tv, and i found out that my mom bought "Bend it like Beckham" and I really want to watch that this week, but pretty much everything else is off limits. I'm gonna need hard core accountability with this, cause if you don't know, I'm slightly addicted to television. So that's the plan, I need to spend at least a week being refilled with the Holy Spirit, being in His presence, and getting the mind of Christ back into my head.
Ok well I'm out...oh yeah it's been snowing all day. That is too weird. I can't get over it.