Wednesday, March 31, 2004

What the hell happened to Sara Groves! Since when did she become an over produced radio pop princess?????
This new cd is definitely going to take some getting used to.

However the fact that I got it for $1 makes it ok right now. But Is this what krys thought when she first heard "The Way I Am"? Right now I"m just kinda shocked and scared. I want my "Conversations" sara back. I'll keep listening though, and trying to like it. The lyrics alone will bring me back. I"m sure in a week I'll be telling you all to go buy the cd right now.

So speaking of krys, she got to go to the last date on the USA united tour last night. sigh. I made her tell me all about it. In a way it was like...what's it called when people "cut" them selves? Self destruction? No, but something like that.

Seriously God, isn't it time for the understanding to kick in? Isn't it time for the big lightbulb in the sky to turn on? It's April 1st in australia God. And in 3 and a half hours it will be April 1st in my part of america. My heart hurts God. I can feel it in my chest. It's heavy, and it just sits there. I feel it with every breath and in every sigh. And I'm tired of this lesson, and I'm tired of this rollercoaster, and I'm tired of living in the inbetween. I'm sick of looking at my half unpacked suitcase. I"m ready for freedom, however that happens. Give me a distraction, give me April 2nd, quit bringing this up and let me move on or DO SOMETHING. And is it possible that I could go one night without dreaming so vividly about things that might have been. Why do I remember the things I want to forget, and the things I should remember run away too fast for me to catch? What I do I don't want to do and so goes the story. Actually I feel like I could use a little more right now. Man, how selfish is that. It's only by your grace that you haven't sent lighting through my ceiling or paralyzed my hands from typing anymore of this crap. And there's the real grace. You sit there and take my crap, listen to me whine, and keep on loving me. I love you too...but right now it's kind of in the way like when your mom makes you say it to your great aunt gladys.