Thursday, June 24, 2004

Ok so I walked Chip, played some piano, and got a mint oreo blizzard from DQ. I'm totally in a mint oreo phase right now. I think I'm ready to blog some more.

So yeah if you hadn't noticed, Relevant had been in a bit of a slump lately. I would like to say that in my opinion, the batch of articles they had up today dug them sufficiently out of said slump. What more stimulation do you need than thinking about Christian ghettos and being a coffee snob. So if you haven't checked it out, you should.

Last night I had the weirdest set of dreams. It think it was 2 or 3 consecutively that were a mish mash of australian places (hillsong) with Mesa friends and family. As I told Krys, my poor subconsious is so confused.

People ask me if I miss Hillsong/Sydney all the time. And I do. ANd I don't. But I think today, maybe for the first time, I was able to put all of my contradicting longings into one complete thought. More than missing it, or wanting to be back there, I think I am jealous of the people who are still allowed to be there. My time there was obviously over. I felt it was cut short. Gods timing is not our own. And truthfully I wouldn't want to be there for all the money in the world, because that's not where God wants me right now. I don't forsee that door opening up for a while. Not never, just not for a while. And that hurts. Cause I miss it.

On the other hand, my heart also hurts with anticipation for getting back to Mesa and "my" church there. It's weird cause in a way it will be like walking into a new church altogether. I'm just starting to realize this. By time I get back it will have been 20 months since I was there for any significant ammount of time. I know how much I've changed in that time, and I know people there have changed as well. I'm excited, and slightly nervous. I just don't want to go in with a lot of assumptions ya know. I want to go in allowing for the change that's taken place.

Well I have yet to touch on modesty. That shall have to wait. Praise God that tomorrow is friday!