Saturday, November 27, 2004

wow. I have no idea what is going on. What's awkward about the whole situation is that it doesn't feel awkward. This should feel awkward. But it feels ok...in a weird way.
I'm sorry, I know this sounds very cryptic or something. Or not. I don't know. I always get this way when I've spent time with him. Him being a friend that I've know for too long to be feeling "this way" about.
We went to starbucks and talked for like 5 hours. And there were very few silences within that time. And the ones that were there weren't awkward. But still, to be able to carry on lively conversation for 5 hours. Well that was just at starbucks. then we went to his house for a while. Then I came home and talked to krys for a while, then after that we ended up talking for like another hour. That's alot of talking.
I don't know. I knew we were going to hang out today and I was praying this morning that God would make things clear one way or the other. I don't feel clear. Actually, maybe I do feel clear. I'd be ok if this went somewhere. Which is weird to even say or think about. And yet i'd be ok with it.
And he looked good today. Which I especially can not believe, because...I don't know maybe I've just never thought of him that way.
Ok this is dumb, I'm going to watch Hillsong on tv. Maybe Brian will have another ironically prophetic word for me tonight.