Sunday, January 30, 2005

Oh man. Where to begin hey? First I would like to say that I haven't been neglecting my blog, it has been one of many things on a very long "To Do" list. And I honestly don't know where to begin. Depending on how much energy I can muster up, this could easily turn into a novel. Or at least a novella.
I guess I'll start small and work my way up.
MLK weekend I was in Colorado on our youth group's annual ski trip. It was wicked awesome. I don't think I've ever had snow that good. Even after 4 years off the slopes, I still picked up right where I left off, and had a killer time. I had a lot of good convos and "relationship building" with kids and friends. Our speaker was fantastic, and though our injuries were many, none were life threatening. We seriously had a lot of injuries. A broken shoulder, a torn ACL, a fractured LIVER (yes, liver), one girl got 15 stichest because her back got slashed open by a snowboard edge, and multiple rolled ankles and sore body parts. I wish you all could have been there. It was way too much fun.
The downside is that we got back late on a Monday night and classes started 8am tuesday morning. woo hoo. Ski trip is so killer too because it is so physically exhausting, you just become this zombie person and start to simply exsist without really engaging in anything. So I went to class Tuesday and Wednesday and my first class on Thursday, and then Liene and I headed out to West Phoenix (practically East So Cal) for the most amazing women's conference ever. It was the Fragrant Oil conference put on by Rita Springer and her ministry team. If you are a woman, you should check their website,, frequently to see if a conference is being held near you. And by near I mean like within 6 hours driving distance. Honestly, it will change your life. It changed mine. There are so many little details I could go into about this, and if you want to know feel free to email me and I'll go into it, but it's honestly really exhausting. God did so much. So so so much. All the crap that I had allowed to accumulate in my life over the past year, and all of the doubts, regrets, anger, cynicism I had held onto since Sydney is completely gone. I don't know how else to express it except to say that I left the weekend a completely different person. And that's just me. You want to know what's even cooler? Many of you know at least basically what has been going on in my friend Liene's life for about two and a half years now, and many of you have actually prayed and believed with me for her healing. Last Saturday at about 1am after I was completely asleep after the conference my phone started ringing and I answered it to Liene yelling, "I'm HEALED!!" Yeah. Completely healed. Totally healed. I still think about it all the time and can not wrap my head around it at all. God restored her to wholeness, and I believe is still going to return everything that was taken from her during that season and more. It's pretty freaking awesome. Our God is pretty freaking awesome. But honestly, if you ever get the chance to go to a Fragrant Oil conference or even to go to a church where one of those ladies is ministering...GO! They have completely opened themselves up to be used by God and He works through them in powerful, powerful ways.
And, basically nothing I say could top that, but I'll end with telling you that I got to lead worship in church today. First time in...well...over 2 years I guess that I've had an opportunity to lead the whole congregation. And it wasn't even that really, just the 2nd service. I have been fighting sickness all weekend and honestly, felt pretty crappy up there, but how true is it that in our weakness He is strong. If you ask God to use you, He will.
Actually, it's kind of weird. I've had a lot of people recently say that they feel that God is going to use me powerfully this year. Actually I think people have said that to L about the both of us, but just today I had 2 people say that to me independant of each other. And I've been thinking about that some recently and, I know that this may come across as completely arrogant, but I honestly say it with the hugest sense of humility and awe. I've always kind of known that I've been set aside to be used by God. Even as a little kid. See, I know that sounds so stuck up, but...I don't know I think it's true. I mean I think God has given everyone of His children gifts and we all have a part to play in the body and I know that He loves everyone the same, so it's not an issue of "God loves me more". I don't know I'd better stop. I can't articulate this well, and everyone's just going to end up thinking I'm a jerk. I swear I'm not. Unless you are a crap driver and you happen to be in front of me on the road. But even that God is redeeming.
So I guess that's what's been going on with me. And I think I'm out for now. I'll try to be back sooner next time. Things should be starting to settle down now.

I love you all. Let me know you're out there.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Apparently one of my new year's resolutions should be to update more frequently. However, this suggestion came from a person who doesn't have a blog period, so I don't know how seriously I will consider this.

I'm still recovering from our ski trip last weekend, and tomorrow I'm headed to West Phoenix for a Fragrant Oil women's conference. I think I'm too tired to express how excited I am for this conference, but I'm super super super excited. God's been doing a lot of cool things in my life the past couple weeks, and I just have a sense that this weekend is going to be like a seal over it all. I can't explain it really. Especially right now when my head literally feels like it's in a fog.

So I'm out...mas later.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

I just thought I'd let everyone know that right now I am enjoying the most divine experience ever known to man. The Tim Tam Slam. And I'm listening to Josh Groban while I am Slamming. I might as well be in heaven. Actually I think I'm about to cry.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Does anyone else see a ridiculous spelling error in the banner ad on the upper left hand corner of this page. Good grief!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

So I was driving into Phoenix for the billionth time in the past 2 weeks yesterday, and I was flipping through my cd's not really excited about any of the choices. I finally settled on Five Iron Frenzy's, "The End is Near". I think I chose it because I've been feeling old, and listening to "loud" music reminds me that I'm not. Plus they are just one of the greatest bands ever to exsist. I miss them already. Well, I haven't really listened to this cd nearly as much as I probably should, so I'm not really that familiar with it. And irony of ironies there is a song called "New Years Eve". So I'm driving down the 202 on new years eve listening to "New Years Eve". The thing is, I swear this song could have been written about me. (I was going to say "written by me", but I doubt my songwriting will ever reach the same level as Reese Roper.) And once again, going against my "no lyrics in blogs" policy here are the words to "New Years Eve". I especially love the last chorus. I'm sure their meaning will ring true for many.

It's new years eve and I'm full of empty promises
I half pretend to keep this time, just like last year

The band is loud and I"m wandering the shadows
Wishing I was never here
I persevere

A crowded room, these whitewashed tombs
They raise their glasses high
They kiss the past goodbye

This new years eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow
My heart is on my sleeve
And yes I still believe

This new years eve, will turn out better than before
I'm holding on, still holding out
Until they close the door...on me

It's new years eve, and I feel my insecurities
Are haunting me like ghosts, this sinking quicksand

And then with thunderous praise and lofty adoration
A second passes by, and nothing changes

I hate my skin
This grave I'm standing in
Another change of years
And I wish I wasn't here

This new years eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow
My heart is on my sleeve
And yes I still believe

This new years eve, will turn out better than before
I'm holding on, still holding out
Until they close the door...on me

A year goes by, and I'm staring at my watch again
And I dig deep this time, for something greater than I've ever been,
Life to ancient wineskins
And I was blind but now I see

This new years eve
Something must change me inside
I'm crooked and misguided
And tired of being tired

This new years eve
I'm waiting for tomorrow
My heart is on my sleeve
And yes I still believe, in You

Happy new year, everyone.