Monday, February 07, 2005

I just need to vent. Hopefully it won't be too painful.

I want to move oooooooooooooout! The lady I live with is driving me INSANE, and I need to get out of here. Oh my gosh. Last year I lived with 9 other girls, and never was I so desperate to get out as I am now. Actually I really really liked living there. After that I lived with 2 other girls and a married couple. Again, no major issues there. 5 people in one house and only a few minor conflicts. This woman drives me crazy. I hate being at my house, I hate coming home when she is here. Home is not relaxing for me, and that's what home should be like. The frustrating thing is that I can't really pin down what specifically is so annoying about her. I think it's just personality differences. My friend meg thinks she is trying to "mother" me. I guess that could be part of it. She does everything for me, which I know sounds like a good deal, but for a person who very highly values their independance it seriously feels demeaning.
The problem is, I have no where to move out to, and no one to move out with. The other problem is that I have pretty stinking cheap rent right now. But dude, I would definitely rather pay more and get into a more sane living situation than keep living in one that is this stressful. Ok so that's my vent. I'm hoping my trip to San Antonio this week will give me a nice break and help me to get through the next couple months until I can escape again. Or until I find new people to live with.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

So here's a story.

Before I left texas I sort of stumbled across a xanga site that my brother blogs on. He doesn't know I know, but that's where I find out what's really going on in his life. And lately it hasn't been so good. That kid has been in Texas too long. Anyway, he was dating this girl who also had a xanga site, so I'd spy on her too. (Am I crossing some sort of ethical lines here?) And this girl was NO GOOD. She would write stuff about how great pizza and porn are together. Yeah. Not good. So I started praying like last week that they would break up like no matter what the reason or if it was sucky or whatever. And my brother just wrote in his xanga blog yesterday that they broke up! Ah, the power of prayer. And a spying, yet loving, older sister.

Here's another story.

I hate politics. And right now I really hate them. For a variety of reasons. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I really don't have the time or the motivation to research things. And I hate forming opinions or basing beliefs on trends, or media propaganda, or peers so I end up basically not forming opinions. I'm totally ok with having none than having one that is based on fluff and cotton candy. And why the heck does everyone go liberal in their post high school years? Do kids who grow up in liberal families go conservative during their "rebelious" phase? Sorry that was a tangent. This whole thing is a tangent really. You know what else really annoys me. When people change something about themselves whether it be style, politics, religion, diet, whatever to like be "different" and not "mainstream". That's so lame. Just be yourself. Why do people work so hard to be something and believe something they're not. I'm really starting to like myself. Good LORD this is a tangent. You want to know where I was really going with all of this? I was going to say that while i was eatting dinner tonight I watched the A&E Biography of Condoleeza Rice, and man I knew I liked her before, but the woman is just a ridiculous inspiration. For about 2.5 seconds I thought about going into public service. Even though that was never her aspiration.

I feel like I've been really vulnerable tonight for some reason. Time to stop.