Monday, August 01, 2005

I wish I were asleep. But I can't fall asleep.
Probably the 10 hours I got last night after completely crashing out after the cali trip might have something to do with it. I still feel tired though.

I had such an amazing weekend. I couldn't really tell you exactly what made it so amazing. Just the overflow of salvation and abundant life. That sounds so super spiritual, but it's not really. It just struck me a lot this weekend how I was just having a really good time and how the only thing I could really attribute it to is just abundant life in Christ. then I ran across a verse in Psalm 130 that talks about the overflow of salvation and that seemed to sum it up. Hanging out with all of my "children" this weekend is definitely not making it easier to leave. Trips are such a bonding time and then to be thinking during all of the bonding that those bonds aren't going to be the same anymore is hard. I was definitely close to tears a couple times. I'm really struggling and trying to work out how this all works. Part of me knows that when I am done at Trinity that it needs to be a really clean break. I need to invest 110% into Latitude, and I want to, but what do I do with my relationships at Trinity? Especially with some of my kids that I just can't bear to not be a part of their lives. I don't know how that all works. Do I just take them out to coffee a couple times a month and catch up? Do I add on a txt plan to my phone so I can txt them randomly? And how does this all look? Is that a "clean break"? Ministry happens in relationships and there are some really good things happening in some of these kids lives that I can't bear to just drop out of. There's actually one girl that I love to bits and love her family to bits and if there was any way I could become a part of their family I would, that I'm actually praying that God would bring her to Latitude with me at some point. I don't know why I even started praying that. It came out of some cool conversations and God things that happened over the weekend. And somehow it just lead to praying in that direction. I think it would be a bit of a shock for her, and I don't know why she would even want to leave Trinity. or what her parents would think...but I want her to be in my life more than coffee. I want to be in her life for more than coffee. There is SOO much in this kid if she would let God get a hold of her completely. Who knows.

Adopt-a-block starts at Latitude this wednesday. Actually just the leadership team is going out, but I think I'm going to go with them. I'm super excited for this. I truely am excited for this transition to be over. I can't wait to call it my church, and to be completely sowing in there. No more double duty. It's definitely an interesting learning process though.

In other news, when I got home last night I saw that the 2006 IKEA cataloge had arrived! There was much rejoicing...and coveting...and realizing that I have no money.

Krys is coming to see me soon. I can not wait. HURRRRRRRRY. I love it when friends visit. I just love friends actually. I love that I am insanely blessed with amazing frienships.

I'm going to try to sleep again...I really need to sleep.