Thursday, August 11, 2005

I've just started reading "I'm a Stranger Here Myself: Notes on Returning to America After Twenty Years Away" by Bill Bryson. I'm dreaming of the day when Bill gets a show on the Travel Channel because I'm pretty sure it would be the funniest thing on tv. Which I guess isn't really saying much, but the man is flipping hilarious and so dead on in his observations and stereotyping of other cultures. If you're going to be a successful travel journalist it's important to be able to correctly stereotype other cultures.
So here is the bit that had me nearly peeing my pants today.

"People sometimes ask me, 'What is the difference between baseball and cricket?'
The answer is simple. Both are games of great skill involving balls and bats but with this crucial difference: Baseball is exciting, and when you go home at the end of the day you know who won.
I'm joking, of course. Cricket is a wonderful sport, full of deliciously scattered micromoments of real action. If a doctor ever instructs me to take a compolete rest and not get overexcited, I shall become a fan at once. In the meantime, my heart belongs to baseball."

He slays me.

If Bill Bryson was me right now, he'd be writing about how he currently does not have the use of his shower. But since Bill Bryson is not me, and it's actually the real me that currently does not have the use of my own shower I shall be writing about it. It just won't be as funny if he were me.
Apparently, before I moved in to this lovely little condo there were some issues with the shower in my bathroom. I've been here for a year and have never had any issues, but I guess the other day when I was in the shower it started leaking through the 1st floor roof again and now I can not use my shower. I can, however, use the bath tub. Don't ask me what kind of sense that makes. I would assume any leaking issue would have to do with drainage and that it really wouldn't matter if you used the shower or the bathtub, but this specific leakage is due to something that is wrong with the shower mechanism. Or so I'm told. So for the next two weeks, until I go to live with a friend for a month, I have to take baths. At first it didn't sound so bad. Kind of more like forced relaxation. But then this morning I had to wash my hair, and the whole thing became a bit more tricky. And now I'm certain I've pulled a muscle in my back from all the odd contortions I had to do just to manuver my head under the faucet in the bathtub. So as to spare my back I'm either going to be bumming showers off of friends for the next couple weeks or just getting really farrell and smelly. We'll see.