Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I had a conversation with a friend a couple days ago that was quite random and unexpected. I wasn't sure at first why she wanted to talk with me but I really think she just wanted someone to listen to her. She and her boyfriend are completely living in sin, and justifying it and pretending they're actually happy. The dullness in her eyes speaks the truth of her hurt and pain.

I've heard about a couple of other friends that are in serious relationships and not handling it so well. They've gone back on all the principles they claimed to want to uphold in their relationships and again, are able to justify it all.

I've found myself wondering if godly relationships exsist anymore? Does anyone "make it to marriage"? Or does everyone just get so blinded by lust that they can write anything off. It's made me increasingly thankful for my nearly 23 years of singleness because I don't want to go there. It could be my emotions talking, but I think I would honestly rather stay single than to get in a relationship and compromise everything I believe is true. I'm not just talking in terms of sex, but even just little things that I really want to experience inside of marriage. I'm too fragile and insecure to hand those things to someone who hasn't given me a ring and promised me forever.

In all of this I have found myself running even harder after my Jesus and thanking him over and over and over again for his favor on my life that has protected me from so much hurt and pain and regret. That's the only way I know how to explain it. If it were up to me I'd have given in a long time ago.